I May Not Go Down In History But On You Absolutely Tee

The I May Not Go Down In History But On You Absolutely tee from Unethical Threads is for people who like their humor filthy and their confidence completely unearned. It says what you're already thinking. Just louder, and on cotton.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who peaked in confidence, not accomplishments. If you've ever delivered a terrible line with full eye contact and absolutely no shame, this shirt was designed with you in mind.

It's the kind of tee you throw on when you want your outfit to do the flirting for you. Works at bars, bachelor parties, and any situation where plausible deniability is your best friend. The shirt says it so you don't have to.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle whatever you get into (we're not judging)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck, because the neckline shouldn't compete with the punchline
• DTG printed for color that sticks around longer than your last situationship
• Machine washable. You're welcome.

Will This Offend Someone?

Almost certainly. That's sort of the whole deal.

If everyone at the table laughs, you're in the right room. If someone doesn't, you've learned something valuable about that person. This shirt lives in the sweet spot between clever and inappropriate. Wear it around people who get it and you'll be a legend. Wear it around people who don't and, honestly, that's funny too.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on pretty much every body type.

Will this shirt shrink in the wash?

It's heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label (cold wash, tumble dry low) and it holds up fine.

Is the print going to crack or peel?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no fading after a few washes.

Can I wear this to work?

Depends on where you work. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.