I Only Drink Two Times A Year My Birthday And When It's Not Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Only Drink Two Times A Year My Birthday And When It's Not tee from Unethical Threads is the drinking shirt that technically sounds responsible if you stop reading halfway through. Printed on the back because some confessions hit harder as exit lines.

Who's Actually Wearing This?

People who gave up pretending about two years ago. This is for the friend who always has a drink in hand and a completely reasonable explanation for it.

If you've ever justified a Tuesday margarita with "it's basically the weekend," this is your uniform. Nobody's judging. Well, somebody probably is, but they weren't invited.

• Heavyweight cotton that survives whatever you put it through
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL, because poor decisions come in all sizes
• Crew neck keeps things classic up front while the back does the talking
• DTG printed for color that sticks around longer than your good judgment
• Available in black or white (pick your fighter)

Is This a Good Gift?

It's the perfect gift for someone who "only drinks socially" but somehow every situation qualifies as social.

Birthday gift? That's almost too on-the-nose. Holiday gift? Works. Random Tuesday because you saw it and immediately thought of them? Honestly, that's probably the most accurate reason to buy it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on everyone.

Is the design on the front or the back?
It's a back print. You walk in looking normal and leave making a statement. That's the whole move.

Will this shrink in the wash?
It's heavyweight pre-shrunk cotton. Follow the care tag and you're good.

Can I wear this to a family event?
Depends on your family. If your uncle is already three beers deep by noon, you'll fit right in.