I Support Whatever Benefits Me Tee

The I Support Whatever Benefits Me Tee from Unethical Threads is the mission statement nobody asked for but everyone secretly operates by. Three lines of block text across the chest, no graphic, no subtlety. Available in black or white.

Who actually wears this?

People who stopped pretending their loyalty isn't transactional.

The friend who switches restaurant picks based on who's paying. The coworker who only volunteers for projects with visible credit. Your entire group chat when someone suggests plans that require driving. This is for anyone who's honest about the math they're already doing.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes (you're welcome)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print for color that doesn't crack, peel, or ghost
• Available in black or white, because even your self-interest deserves options

Is this a good gift?

It's the best gift for someone who's already given up pretending to be noble.

Birthdays, holidays, office Secret Santa where you drew the person who always takes credit for group projects. The I Support Whatever Benefits Me Tee works because it's not mean, it's just true. Nobody can get mad at you for stating a universal human condition. Well, they can. But they'd be proving your point.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the I Support Whatever Benefits Me Tee come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Will the print fade or crack?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. It holds up through repeated washing without cracking, peeling, or fading.

What colors does this shirt come in?

Black or white. Pick whichever benefits you most.

Is this shirt offensive?

Only to people who haven't admitted they do the exact same thing. So yes, possibly.

What material is it made from?

Heavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, not so thick you overheat at a casual lunch.