I Want To Be YOUR Milkman Tee

The I Want To Be YOUR Milkman Tee is for anyone who looked at a career in dairy delivery and thought, "yeah, that's the one." Unethical Threads made this shirt for the genuinely filthy-minded among us. You know who you are.

Who actually wears this?

People with a sense of humor and absolutely no filter. If you've ever made a milk delivery joke at a dinner party and watched the table split between laughter and silence, this was designed for you.

It's also weirdly popular as a dad shirt. We see the orders. We don't ask questions. Something about fatherhood just unlocks this specific frequency of humor, and honestly, we're here for it.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (big milkmen exist, we see you)
• Crew neck, classic cut, nothing weird going on with the collar
• DTG printed so the graphic stays vivid wash after wash, not cracking off by month two
• Preshrunk, because nobody wants their milkman shirt turning into a crop top accidentally

Will this offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's kind of the whole thing.

Look, if someone gets the joke, they'll love it. If they don't get it, they'll just think you really love dairy. Either way you win. It's a perfect gift for the friend who has no boundaries, your partner who appreciates a terrible joke, or yourself because you deserve something stupid and great.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt shrink?

It's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it holds its shape. Ignore the care label and that's between you and God.

What does "I Want To Be Your Milkman" mean?

If you have to ask, this might not be your shirt. But we respect the curiosity.

Is this appropriate for work?

Depends entirely on where you work. Dive bar, yes. Corporate office, read the room.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Works on pretty much every body type.

How should I wash this?

Cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print holds up, but skip the bleach unless you want a mystery shirt.