*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigarette Sweatshirt

The "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigarette" sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for every smoker who has briefly considered violence over nicotine. Heavyweight cotton, printed to last, and guaranteed to make at least one person at the grocery store deeply uncomfortable.

Who actually wears this?

People running on four hours of sleep and half a pack.

The friend who quit smoking six times this year. Your coworker who takes "smoke breaks" that are really just excuses to leave the building. This sweatshirt isn't for people who need context clues. If you laughed at the title, you're the target audience.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense
• Unisex relaxed fit in S through 4XL, because cravings don't care about your body type
• Classic crew neck, because even degenerates have standards
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print that won't crack, peel, or fade when you inevitably spill something on it
• Pre-shrunk fabric, so what you order is what you get

Will this get a reaction?

Yes. That's the point.

Some people will laugh, some will stare, and your mom will probably have questions. This is not a sweatshirt for blending in. It's for the people who already say the quiet part loud and figured they might as well wear it too.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this sweatshirt run true to size?
It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. If you're between sizes, size up for a comfier fit.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. The design holds up through repeated washing without cracking or peeling.

Is this a good gift for someone?
If the person you're buying for would laugh at the phrase "dropkick a child for a cigarette," absolutely. If they'd call the police, maybe get them a candle instead.

Can I wear this in public?
You can wear it anywhere you're prepared to own it. We've heard reports from gas stations, barbecues, and at least one PTA meeting.