*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigarette Tee

Unethical Threads made the "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigarette" tee because enough of you asked for it. Nicotine cravings hit different, and this shirt says what your face already does outside the gas station.

Who actually wears this?

People who've said worse out loud at a party. Smokers, ex-smokers, and people who quit but kept the personality.

If you've ever bummed a cigarette from a stranger and made a lifelong enemy doing it, this one's yours. It's not trying to be subtle. Neither are you.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like an actual shirt, not a napkin with sleeves
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Big guy? Small girl? Covered.
• Classic crew neck
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print. Colors stay locked in, no fading, no cracking.
• Pre-shrunk. What you order is what shows up.

Is this a good gift?

Honestly, yes. If you know someone who'd laugh at this instead of filing a complaint, hand it over.

It's the kind of gift that tells a person you actually pay attention to their sense of humor. Wrap it or don't. The shirt does the talking.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt shrink?

It's pre-shrunk. Order your normal size and you're set.

Will the print crack or fade?

No. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. No cracking, no fading.

Will this offend people?

Almost certainly. That's the whole point.

What sizes do you have?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Can I return it if someone makes me?

Check our return policy, but we'd rather you kept it and stood your ground.