I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke Tee is an Unethical Threads backprint for anyone whose soda addiction crossed into felony territory a long time ago. If you've ever reorganized your entire day around fountain Diet Coke availability, this shirt already makes sense to you.

Who actually wears this?

People who have a Diet Coke in their hand right now. Seriously, this tee is for the person who treats their local gas station fountain like a religious pilgrimage. Your coworkers already know you'd commit minor crimes for aspartame, so you might as well make it official. The backprint means they'll read it as you walk away, which is exactly the energy this shirt deserves.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a gas station freebie
• Unisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL (we're inclusive about our bad decisions)
• Classic crew neck for a clean look while the back does the talking
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid wash after wash
• Backprint design, because the best jokes land when you're already walking away

Is this a good gift for a Diet Coke addict?

It's the perfect gift. Every friend group has that one person who would genuinely fight a toddler for the last Diet Coke in the fridge. You know exactly who they are. This is cheaper than an intervention and way more fun to watch them open.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?
Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so it runs true. If you're between sizes, size up for a looser feel or stay put for a standard fit.

Is the design on the front or the back?
It's a backprint. The front is blank, the back does all the heavy lifting. Walk into a room normal, leave as a legend.

Will this shrink in the wash?
Minimal shrinkage if you follow the care instructions. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and your shirt stays the same size as your Diet Coke problem.

Can I wear this in public without getting yelled at?
You can wear it anywhere. Will someone have an opinion? Probably. Will it be funny? Absolutely.

What sizes do you carry?
S through 4XL. No one is excluded from publicly declaring their willingness to dropkick a child for a Diet Coke.