I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coke Zero Hoodie

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coke Zero hoodie by Unethical Threads is for people who take their soda preferences way too seriously. It says what we're all thinking. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, and the kind of unhinged energy your wardrobe has been missing.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who treats Coke Zero like it's a personality trait.

You know the type. They have a mini fridge stocked exclusively with silver cans. They get personally offended when a restaurant only carries Pepsi products. This hoodie is just the logical next step. You were already annoying about it, now you can be annoying and cozy.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like something, not that tissue-paper stuff
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL
• Crew neck with DTG printing so the graphic stays sharp wash after wash
• Soft enough to nap in after your third Coke Zero of the day
• Pairs well with questionable life decisions and zero-calorie beverages

Is this actually a good gift?

It might be the best gift you give all year.

If someone in your life treats Coke Zero like a religion, this is basically a hymnal they can wear. Works great for Secret Santa when you want to be memorable without spending "I actually care about you" money. Funny, practical, and if it doesn't land you can always say it was ironic.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this hoodie run true to size?
It's a relaxed unisex fit. Size up one if you want it oversized, stick with your usual if you like it standard.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printing keeps the colors and text intact through regular washing. Wash inside out on cold for best results.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?
Depends on your audience. It's funny to most people and deeply confusing to the rest. Either outcome is entertaining.

Is this a good gag gift?
One of the best. Anyone who loves Coke Zero will immediately claim it as their new favorite hoodie. Anyone who doesn't will still laugh.