I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coke Zero Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coke Zero tee is a backprint from Unethical Threads for anyone whose soda dependency has crossed into felony territory. If you've ever felt genuine emotional distress opening the fridge to zero Coke Zeros, this is your shirt.

Who actually wears this?

People whose Coke Zero consumption could be classified as a personality disorder.

You know who you are. You've got a dedicated fridge shelf, a backup stash at work, and strong opinions about the reformulation. This shirt just makes it official. It's a backprint, so everyone behind you in the checkout line gets the full experience while you're scanning for a vending machine.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually holds up (not the tissue-thin stuff you've been burned by before)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck
• DTG printed for color that doesn't bail after a few washes
• Full backprint design, because the best threats come from behind

Can I give this as a gift?

Yes, and it might be the most thoughtful thing you ever do.

If someone in your life has ever said "I would do unspeakable things for a Coke Zero," stop looking. This is their gift. Also works as a not-so-subtle intervention for the person who drinks eight cans a day and sees nothing wrong with that.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Is the design on the front or back?
Backprint only. The front stays clean, the back does the heavy lifting.

Will the print fade after washing?
DTG printed, so the ink bonds into the fabric instead of sitting on top. It holds up.

Is this shirt going to offend people?
Some people, yes. Coke Zero enthusiasts will respect it. Everyone else might have follow-up questions.

Is this a good gift for a Coke Zero fan?
It's possibly the most targeted gift you can buy someone. If they love Coke Zero and have questionable humor, this is it.