I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper Graphic Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper tee from Unethical Threads is for the people who mean it. Not every soda, just Dr Pepper. You know your priorities, and this shirt makes sure everyone else does too.

Who actually wears this?

People who've been asked "what's your favorite drink?" and answered with an intensity that made the room uncomfortable. Dr Pepper loyalists don't do casual. If you've ever gotten genuinely mad at a restaurant for not carrying it, this was made for you. The kind of person who sees 23 flavors and thinks "yeah, worth it."

• Heavyweight cotton that holds up better than your impulse control around a vending machine
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck because some things don't need reinventing
• DTG (direct to garment) print so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't
• Pre-shrunk fabric because at least something in your life should be predictable

Is this actually a good gift?

If you know someone whose entire personality is Dr Pepper, this is the gift. Stop buying them another case. They already have a fridge full. Give them something they can wear to Thanksgiving dinner that makes at least one relative deeply uncomfortable. It's thoughtful in the most unhinged way possible.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt actually say "dropkick a child"?
Yes. It says "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper." That is the whole shirt. You've been warned.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.

Will this offend people?
Almost certainly. That's not a bug, it's the entire point. If the people around you can't handle it, you might need different people.

Is the print going to crack or fade?
No. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. This shirt will outlast most of your friendships.

Can I wear this in public?
Legally, yes. Socially, that depends entirely on how much you care about what strangers think. We're guessing not much.