*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr. Pepper Tee

Unethical Threads made the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr. Pepper tee for people whose soda loyalty borders on criminal. If you've ever chosen Dr. Pepper over water, human decency, or a small child's safety, congratulations. This is your uniform.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who treat Dr. Pepper like a personality trait. You know who you are.

You'll wear it to cookouts, gas station runs, and anywhere you want people to understand exactly where your priorities are. It pairs well with cargo shorts, poor life decisions, and a mini fridge full of nothing but Dr. Pepper. It's not for everyone. That's the entire point.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a translucent napkin
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck for the traditional "I have opinions" silhouette
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after you inevitably spill Dr. Pepper on it
• Pre-shrunk because surprises belong on the shirt, not in the laundry

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

It's the best gift you'll buy this year.

If someone in your life won't shut up about Dr. Pepper, this saves you from another boring gift card. It tells them you understand their devotion, their commitment, their willingness to do unspeakable things for 23 flavors. Wrap it or don't. The shirt speaks for itself.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt really about dropkicking children?

No. It's about how good Dr. Pepper is. The child is hypothetical. Your obsession with that soda is very real.

What sizes does this come in?

Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will this shrink in the wash?

It's heavyweight cotton with DTG printing. Wash cold, tumble low, and it stays the size you bought it.

Is this a good gift for a Dr. Pepper fan?

It's the only gift. If someone in your life has strong opinions about Dr. Pepper, this is their personality on a shirt.