I Would Dropkick A Child For A Michelob Ultra Tee

Unethical Threads made the shirt your intrusive thoughts have been begging for. The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Michelob Ultra tee says what you've been thinking every time someone hands you a light beer menu. It's funny, it's unhinged, and it's yours.

Who's actually buying this?

People who drink Michelob Ultra and have a sense of humor about it. So, most of them.

This isn't for the craft beer snob who wants to lecture you about hops. It's for the person who knows what they like, orders it without apology, and thinks fictional child violence is peak comedy. You know who you are.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue-paper promotional giveaway
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck because we're not animals
• DTG printed so the colors stay locked in wash after wash
• Pairs well with an ice-cold Ultra and questionable life choices

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a great gift if you know someone's beer order. That's it. That's the bar.

If your friend, dad, or coworker reaches for a Michelob Ultra every single time, hand them this tee and watch them become the funniest person at the cookout without saying a word. No card needed. The shirt says enough.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt going to offend people?

That depends on how close they're standing to your Michelob Ultra. Most people laugh. The ones who don't weren't going to like you anyway.

What sizes does the Dropkick Michelob Ultra tee come in?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.

Will the print crack or fade after washing?

No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. Colors hold up.

Is this affiliated with Michelob Ultra?

Not even a little. This is a parody humor tee from Unethical Threads. No beer brands were consulted or harmed.

Can I wear this to a family event?

You can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is between you and your relatives.