I Would Dropkick A Child For A Michelob Ultra Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Michelob Ultra tee is a backprint from Unethical Threads for people who picked their beer and their hill to die on. Michelob Ultra fans don't need your approval, but they do need this shirt.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who order a Michelob Ultra with full eye contact and zero shame. The gym-to-bar pipeline crowd who count macros all week and then spend Saturday making sure everyone behind them in the checkout line knows where they stand on the child-vs-beer debate.

This is a backprint, so you walk in looking normal and leave people questioning everything. That's the whole move.

• Heavyweight cotton that handles leg day, laundry day, and every questionable decision in between
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because Michelob Ultra devotion knows no size limit
• Crew neck, classic cut. The shirt equivalent of ordering what you always order.
• DTG printed for color that lasts, not that peel-and-crack iron-on garbage
• Full backprint design, so you'll never see who's laughing behind you (they all are)

Is this going to get me in trouble?

Probably. But anyone who reads "I would dropkick a child for a Michelob Ultra" and takes it literally was never going to like you anyway. It's a shirt, not a sworn statement.

Your real friends will immediately ask where you got it. Everyone else can keep walking.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt really say "dropkick a child" on it?

Yes. The full phrase is printed across the back. You knew what this was when you clicked.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade after washing?

No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric. Wash inside out in cold water and it holds up just fine.

Is the design on the front or the back?

Back only. The front is blank, which means you get to watch people's faces change after they walk past you.

Can I actually wear this in public?

Legally, yes. Socially, it depends on your crowd. Most people who see it are going to laugh, not lecture you.