I Would Dropkick A Child For A Mr Pibb Graphic Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Mr Pibb graphic tee is exactly what it sounds like. Unethical Threads made this for people who picked a soda and chose violence. Heavyweight cotton, real print, full commitment to a beverage most people forgot existed.

Who's actually wearing this?

People with strong opinions about discontinued sodas and weak impulse control. If you've ever gotten genuinely angry at a "Pepsi Products Only" restaurant, this shirt gets it.

It's the kind of humor that separates you from people who think "Live Laugh Love" is a personality. Your friends will laugh. Your coworkers will have questions. That's the point.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a neck hole
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because Mr. Pibb devotion comes in all sizes
• Crew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print so the color survives your wash cycle and your life choices
• Pre-shrunk fabric, so it still fits after you panic-wash it post-Thanksgiving

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift if the person you're buying for has ever said something that made the whole room go quiet.

If they drink obscure sodas and have opinions that would get them uninvited from family events, you found their shirt. Just don't be surprised when they actually wear it to Thanksgiving.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt true to size?
Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit. If you're between sizes, go with your usual or check the size chart.

What sizes do you carry?
S through 4XL. Mr. Pibb devotion is not size-restricted.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric. The color stays put longer than most of your relationships.

Is Mr. Pibb even still a thing?
Technically it's Pibb Xtra now, which is exactly the kind of corporate betrayal that justifies the shirt.

Can I return it if someone gets offended?
Check our return policy. But honestly, someone getting offended is kind of the whole point.