I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport tee is Unethical Threads at peak form. It says what you're thinking after hour nine of a shift with no smoke break. Heavyweight backprint, full commitment energy.

Who actually wears this?

Smokers. Ex-smokers who still romanticize it. People who've bummed enough Newports to owe someone a kidney.

If you've ever described a cigarette as "necessary" rather than "a habit," this shirt already belongs to you. You don't need convincing. You need a size.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't disintegrate after three washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're not here to look professional
• DTG printed so the colors stay locked in wash after wash
• Full backprint, meaning everyone behind you in the checkout line gets the complete experience

Will this get me in trouble?

Probably. That's sort of the whole thing.

If you're the type of person who reads "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport" and thinks "yeah, fair," you already know what you're signing up for. Your coworkers will have opinions. Your mom will have questions. You will not care.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the shirt say?
"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport." It's printed on the back of the tee.

Is this shirt offensive?
Yes. That is the entire point.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit.

Will the print fade?
No. DTG printing locks the design into the fabric so it holds up wash after wash.

Is the design on the front or back?
Backprint only. The front is blank.