I Would Dropkick A Child For A Patron Tee (BACKPRINT)

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Patron Tee is exactly what it sounds like. Part of the Dropkick series from Unethical Threads, printed on heavyweight cotton, worn by people who love Patron more than they love being polite.

Who actually wears this?

People who don't apologize for their drink order. The Dropkick series is for the crowd that picks a bit and commits to it.

You wear this to the cookout, someone reads your back, and now you've got a new best friend or a new enemy. Either way, you're having a better time than the guy in the plain polo.

• 100% heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a neck hole
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S to 4XL
• Crew neck, short sleeve
• DTG print (direct-to-garment) so the colors don't bail after three washes
• Backprint placement, because the best jokes land when you're walking away

Is this a good gift?

Absolutely, if you actually know the person. This is the shirt you buy for the friend who already says "dropkick a child" at brunch.

Not for your coworker you've spoken to twice. Know your audience and this thing lands every time.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the print hold up in the wash?

Yes. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and the design stays locked in.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. The fit is unisex and true to size, so order your normal size.

Is the design on the front or the back?

Backprint only. The front is clean, the back does all the talking.

Will this shrink?

Minimal shrinkage if you follow care instructions. Wash cold, tumble dry low. Heavyweight cotton holds its shape better than lightweight tees.

Is this shirt actually offensive?

Depends on who you ask. It's a joke. If someone can't handle it, that's a them problem, not a you problem.