I Would Dropkick A Child For A Pepsi Max Sweatshirt

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Pepsi Max sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for people who've picked their side in the cola wars and are willing to catch charges over it. Sugar-free soda, full-strength opinions. This is the sweatshirt equivalent of your most unhinged group chat message.

Who actually wears this?

People who drink Pepsi Max like it's a personality trait. Which, honestly, at this point it is.

If you've ever looked at someone holding a Coca-Cola and felt genuine contempt, this is your uniform. It also works if you just like making people in the grocery store do a double take while you reach for the 12-pack.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real sweatshirt, not a screen-printed napkin
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because Pepsi Max devotion transcends body type
• Crew neck, classic cut. Nothing experimental here except your sense of humor
• DTG print that locks color into the fabric. The joke stays crisp even when you don't.
• Pre-shrunk so it fits the same on day one hundred as it did on day one

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a great gift. Possibly the best gift.

If someone in your life has strong feelings about sugar-free cola, this sweatshirt says "I see you and your very specific brand of chaos" better than any card ever could. Works for birthdays, White Elephant, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of one specific person. You know the one.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shrink in the wash?
No. It's pre-shrunk. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and it stays the size you ordered.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.

Will the print fade?
Nope. DTG printing locks the ink into the fabric. It's not going anywhere.

Is this really about Pepsi Max?
It's about loving Pepsi Max with a level of intensity that probably warrants a conversation with someone.

How long does shipping take?
Most orders ship within 3 to 7 business days. You'll get tracking info once it's on its way.