I Would Dropkick A Child For A Vanilla Coke Tee (BACKPRINT)

This is the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Vanilla Coke tee from Unethical Threads, and yes, it says exactly what you think it says. Backprint design so the people behind you in line get the full experience. If your loyalty to Vanilla Coke has ever felt violent, this is your shirt.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who have a Vanilla Coke in their hand right now and a concerning lack of impulse control. The Dropkick series is one of our best sellers because everyone has that one thing they'd commit a minor felony for. Yours just happens to be carbonated.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a tag on it
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck because we're unhinged, not monsters
• DTG printed so the colors don't bail after three washes
• Full backprint (the front is just you looking innocent)

Is This a Good Gift?

Absolutely. If someone in your life has ever said "I would kill for a Vanilla Coke" with a little too much conviction, hand them this tee and watch them feel seen. Works for birthdays, holidays, or just because you want to enable someone's worst personality trait.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt actually say "dropkick a child" on it?

Yes. The full text reads "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Vanilla Coke" and it's printed across the back. You've been warned.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.

Will the print fade or crack?

Nope. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash. No cracking, no peeling.

Is there anything on the front?

Nope. Backprint only. The front stays clean, which is honestly part of the bit. They don't see it coming.