I Would Dropkick A Child Into Xmas Tree For Coca Cola Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child Into Xmas Tree For Coca Cola tee is Unethical Threads doing the holidays right. It says what your soda addiction has been thinking all along. Heavyweight cotton, full commitment energy, and a one-way ticket off the nice list.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who take their Coca-Cola loyalty to uncomfortable places. You know exactly who you are. This shirt hits hardest at holiday parties, ugly sweater contests, and office gift exchanges where you want to guarantee you won't get invited back next year. It's the Christmas shirt for people who think "peace on earth" is negotiable when there's a Coke on the line.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a disposable napkin
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because we're unhinged, not uncivilized
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print keeps the colors locked in wash after wash
• Pre-shrunk, which is more than we can say for your friend group after wearing this to dinner

Can I give this as a gift?

This is the gift that tells someone you know them on a deeply concerning level. Perfect for Secret Santa, White Elephant, or just handing to your friend who won't shut up about Coca-Cola. Fair warning: they'll either love you forever or never speak to you again. No middle ground exists here.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?
Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printing keeps the colors vivid wash after wash. No cracking, no peeling, no excuses.

Is this appropriate for a holiday party?
Depends on the party. If your host has a sense of humor, you're golden. If not, at least you'll be memorable.

How long does shipping take?
Orders typically ship within 3 to 5 business days. You'll get a tracking number once it's on the way.

Is this actually about Coca-Cola?
It's about what you'd do for a Coca-Cola. The shirt speaks for itself.