If Dicks Could Fly Your Mouth Would Be An Airport Tee (BACKPRINT)

The If Dicks Could Fly Your Mouth Would Be An Airport Tee from Unethical Threads is a back-printed roast for the friend who hasn't stopped talking since birth. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so the punchline hits as you walk away. Passive-aggressive? Sure. Accurate? Also yes.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's been personally victimized by a friend who won't shut up. This is a roast shirt, plain and simple.

You wear it around the person who dominates every group chat, every dinner, every car ride. The back print means you don't even have to say anything. Just turn around and let the shirt handle it (ironic, yes).

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a costume
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL
• Crew neck, because V-necks are for real estate agents
• DTG printed so the colors don't bail after three washes
• Back print design, delivering your message as you leave every room

Does this actually work as a gift?

It's one of the best gifts you can give someone who talks too much, because they'll never see it coming.

Birthdays, White Elephant, "I saw this and thought of you" energy. Hand them the If Dicks Could Fly tee and watch them read it, look at you, and know exactly what you mean. No card needed.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the shirt actually say?

The back reads "If Dicks Could Fly Your Mouth Would Be An Airport." It's a roast about someone who talks too much, not what you might think at first glance.

Is the design on the front or back?

It's a back print. The front is blank, so the joke hits people after you've already walked past them.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

The design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so it holds its color and won't crack or peel like cheap screen prints.

Can I wear this to work?

That depends entirely on where you work and how much you like your job.