If You Want To Scare Me I Have A Fear Of Being Flashed Tee

The "If You Want To Scare Me I Have A Fear Of Being Flashed" tee from Unethical Threads is the innuendo shirt your wardrobe has been quietly begging for. A fake phobia that doubles as an open invitation. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton, zero subtlety.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who think pickup lines are for amateurs. This shirt does the work so your mouth doesn't have to.

It's the kind of tee you throw on when you want everyone at the bar to know exactly where you stand on the whole flashing issue. Also surprisingly popular as a couples' gift. Take that however you want.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels substantial, not like a tissue you'd use once and toss
• Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because everyone deserves to make questionable fashion choices
• Crew neck because apparently that matters to some of you
• DTG print for color that sticks around longer than your dignity at karaoke night
• Available in black or white, pick your fighter

Does this actually work as a gift?

Absolutely. It's the gift that says "I know you" without having to get emotional about it.

Perfect for the friend who treats innuendo like a lifestyle, the partner who appreciates a well-placed double entendre, or the coworker whose sense of humor HR hasn't broken yet. Wrap it or don't. The shirt speaks for itself.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the shirt say?

"If You Want To Scare Me I Have A Fear Of Being Flashed." It's a fake phobia. The subtext is not subtle.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.

Will this offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's kind of the point. Know your audience, or don't. We're not your mom.

What colors does it come in?

Black or white. Both look great. Neither will make you a better person.

Is the print going to crack or fade?

DTG printing locks the colors in for the long haul. This shirt will outlast most of your situationships.