I'll Drive You Suck Tee

The I'll Drive You Suck Tee from Unethical Threads puts two simple lines on a shirt and lets context do the heavy lifting. Read it one way and you're the designated driver. Read it the other way and, well, you're not.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's been the sober driver enough times to feel owed something. Couples whose love language is mutual roasting.

It's a road trip shirt, a drinking humor shirt, a "please don't wear that to meet my parents" shirt. It works for bachelor parties, bar crawls, and any situation where plausible deniability is part of the outfit.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a tissue with a neck hole
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because at least one part of this outfit should be wholesome
• DTG printed directly into the fabric so the design stays sharp
• Available in black or white

Does this work as a gift?

It's a perfect couples gift, a road trip gift, or an "I saw this and immediately thought of you" gift. That last category is where this shirt lives.

Buy it for the friend who always drives. Buy it for the partner who appreciates a crude pickup line delivered via cotton. The gift says more than a card ever could, and it's machine washable.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the I'll Drive You Suck Tee come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart, but it runs comfortable.

Will this shirt shrink?
Minimal shrinkage if you follow the care label. Cold wash, tumble dry low.

Is the print going to crack or peel?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. The design holds up.

Can I wear this to work?
Depends entirely on your workplace. If HR has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for weekends.

Is this shirt offensive?
It has two readings. One is perfectly innocent. The other one is why you clicked "add to cart."