I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Mom She Makes Me A Sandwich Tee

The I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Mom She Makes Me A Sandwich Tee from Unethical Threads is a four-line your-mom comeback on a heavyweight cotton tee. It goes exactly where you think, then sticks the landing on a sandwich. In black or white.

Who actually wears this?

People who end arguments instead of winning them. This shirt does the talking so you can just stand there looking smug.

You know the friend. Opens with self-deprecation, pivots to your mother, and sticks the landing on something so dumb it wraps back around to brilliant. The I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Mom She Makes Me A Sandwich Tee is their uniform, and the companion piece to our "your dad" bacon-grease tee (same energy, opposite parent, tamer punchline).

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't quit after three wash cycles
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S to 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're classy like that
• DTG printed so the text stays sharp long after the friendships don't
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift if the recipient has a sense of humor and a high tolerance for eye contact with strangers.

This is what you buy for the person who already owns every "normal" funny shirt and needs an upgrade. Birthday, White Elephant, divorce party. Pair it with an actual sandwich for full commitment to the bit.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?
Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit that runs true to size from S to 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Is the text on both sides of the shirt?
Front print only. The back is blank, so people have to face you to get the full experience.

Is "EVERYTIME" on the shirt a typo?
That's how it's printed. It's part of the design, not a cry for help.

Will this shrink in the wash?
Minimal shrinkage with cold water and tumble dry low. The heavyweight cotton holds its shape.

Can I wear this to a family dinner?
You can wear it anywhere you're comfortable defending your choices. We believe in you, but we're not your lawyer.