I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee

The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who's done pretending. Unisex fit, DTG printed, and designed to say what your HR department won't let you.

Who actually wears this?

People who've identified the problem and aren't shy about it. You know the type, because you are the type.

This is the shirt you throw on when you're headed somewhere you know "that guy" will be. It's botanical knowledge meets social commentary, and honestly, it's doing important work. The cactus just provides plausible deniability.

• Heavyweight cotton that has actual substance, not the see-through stuff that disintegrates in the dryer
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because calling people out isn't size-restricted
• Crew neck, classic cut, nothing weird going on
• DTG print for color that outlasts your patience with the person you bought this shirt because of
• Machine washable, obviously. You've got bigger problems to deal with

Is this a good gift?

It's a fantastic gift. It's the kind of shirt that says "I get you" without having to explain anything.

Birthday, holiday, "I saw this and thought of you" occasion. Works for the friend who always says what everyone else is thinking. Works for yourself, because self-awareness is a gift too. Just don't give it to the person it's about. Or do. We're not your parents.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt true to size?

It runs true to size in a relaxed, unisex cut. If you're between sizes, go with your usual. Sizes S through 4XL.

Will the print crack or peel?

No. The DTG (direct-to-garment) print is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top of it. It holds up through the wash cycle without cracking or fading.

Can I give this as a gift?

People buy this one as a gift constantly. It's the kind of shirt that says "I get you" without having to explain anything.

What's the fabric like?

Heavyweight cotton with real substance. Not the thin stuff that goes transparent after three washes.