I'm Not A Gorilla But I Can Beat Off 100 Men Shirt

The I'm Not A Gorilla But I Can Beat Off 100 Men shirt is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: taking something viral and making it so much worse. The internet argued about how many men a gorilla could fight. We heard something different.

Who actually wears this?

The guy at the gym who won't shut up about gorilla grip strength. The friend who makes every group chat worse on purpose.

Basically anyone who saw the gorilla meme and immediately went to the darkest possible place. This shirt is for people who treat "inappropriate" as a personality trait, not a warning label.

• Heavyweight cotton that survives leg day and your mother's disappointment
• Unisex relaxed fit in S through 4XL, because poor decisions come in every size
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid wash after wash (the joke, unfortunately, also doesn't fade)
• Pre-shrunk fabric so it fits the same whether you're bulking or coping

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift if you want to be remembered forever. This is what you give when a gift card feels too safe and you want to see genuine shock on someone's face.

Ideal for gym rats, meme addicts, or anyone whose sense of humor peaked in a group chat at 2 AM. Fair warning: they will wear it everywhere.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?

No. The design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so colors hold up wash after wash.

Is this actually offensive?

That depends entirely on how fast people read it. Most will do a double take. Some will laugh. A few will never speak to you again.

Can I wear this to the gym?

You can and you should. Heavyweight cotton holds up to a full session, and the shirt basically guarantees nobody asks to work in with you.

How long does shipping take?

Most orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. You'll get a tracking email once it's on the way.