Im Not Drunk Just Pickling My Liver Black Tee

The Im Not Drunk Just Pickling My Liver Black Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who treats their liver like a fermentation project and isn't apologizing for it. Heavyweight cotton, DTG-printed, and way funnier than whatever excuse you were going to use.

Who's actually buying this?

People who've said "I'm fine" while knocking over a barstool. This shirt lands with the self-aware drinker who knows the difference between a problem and a lifestyle.

It's the kind of humor that plays at a backyard cookout, a brewery crawl, or frankly, Tuesday. If your friend group has a group chat named after a bad decision, you're the target demo.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't disintegrate after three washes (or three spills)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room for everyone, including regret.
• Crew neck, because V-necks are a choice and this shirt already made enough choices
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print. The graphic stays vibrant long after the memories don't.
• Black tee. Hides stains. You know which ones.

Does this work as a gift?

Absolutely, if you know your audience. This is a gift for the friend who already owns their reputation. The one who doesn't need a disclaimer.

Pair it with a six-pack or a bottle of something questionable and you've got a birthday present that actually gets worn. Skip it for your boss. Unless your boss is cool, in which case, get them a 2XL.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Im Not Drunk Just Pickling My Liver tee come in?
It runs S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade after washing?
No. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric. Follow basic care instructions (cold wash, tumble dry low) and it holds up.

Is this shirt actually soft or is it one of those cardboard-stiff novelty tees?
It's heavyweight cotton with a broken-in feel. Not stiff, not flimsy. The kind of shirt you grab first out of the drawer.

Can I wear this to a bar without getting comments?
You'll get comments. That's the point. They'll just be from people who agree with you.

Is this an appropriate gift?
For the right person, it's a perfect gift. For the wrong person, it's a conversation you don't want to have. Know your audience.