I'm So Manly Even My Balls Have Balls Tee

The I'm So Manly Even My Balls Have Balls tee from Unethical Threads is hyper-masculinity cranked so far past the redline it loops back around to comedy. Available in black or white. The kind of shirt that tells people exactly where you stand on the subtlety spectrum.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's decided that subtlety is overrated and commitment to the bit is everything.

This is for the guy at the barbecue who needs every person in earshot to know he's not taking himself seriously. It's also for anyone shopping for that guy, because you already know exactly who he is. The kind of person who'd frame this shirt if he could.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes (your nipples can thank us later)
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because a V-neck would be trying too hard
• DTG printed so the graphic stays sharp, not that peeling iron-on look from 2007
• Available in black or white

Is this actually a good gift?

Yes. Full stop.

If you know someone whose whole personality is being aggressively, performatively masculine (or making fun of people who are), this is the move. Specific enough to feel personal, ridiculous enough that nobody's returning it. Father's Day, birthday, white elephant, any occasion where "thoughtful" and "completely unhinged" overlap.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the I'm So Manly Even My Balls Have Balls tee come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs true to size for most people.

Will the print crack or peel?

No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the color holds through every wash. No cracking, no peeling, no sad flaking.

Does this come in colors other than black and white?

Nope. Black or white. Pick your fighter.

Is this shirt actually comfortable or just funny?

Both. Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. It's a real shirt, not a costume.

Will this offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's sort of the whole deal. If someone's upset by the concept of anatomically recursive masculinity, that says more about them than you.