Introvert Do Not Disturb Unless Pizza Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Introvert Do Not Disturb Unless Pizza tee from Unethical Threads is a back print shirt for people whose doorbell policy has exactly one exception: pizza delivery. Pizza is the only food on earth with the social power to make a homebody actually answer the door. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton, sizes S through 4XL.

Who actually needs this?

Anyone who's declined a party invitation but tracked a pizza order with the intensity of a NASA launch sequence. This is their shirt.

Most introvert shirts just say "leave me alone" in fourteen fonts. This one names the price, and your asking rate comes in a flat cardboard box. The design sits on the back, so anyone walking up behind you gets the terms before they waste your time.

• Heavyweight cotton that outlasts your social battery (which flatlines around noon most days)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Fits like the shirt you wear when nobody is coming over. Which is always.
• Crew neck. Classic. Not trying to reinvent anything.
• DTG print, so the colors stick around longer than your weekend plans do
• Available in black or white. Both pair nicely with pizza grease on the couch.

Does this work as a gift?

It's one of the easiest gifts you'll ever buy. You already know someone who fits this description.

The person in your life who responds to invitations with "maybe" (meaning no), who has three pizza apps on their phone, who considers delivery tracking a hobby. Get them this. You can order it online and have it shipped directly, so you don't even have to see them in person. They'd prefer it that way, and honestly, so would you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable whether you're answering the door for pizza or pretending you're not home for everyone else.

Is the design on the front or the back?

The back. So anyone walking up behind you in line gets your terms before they try to make small talk.

Does it come in different colors?

Black or white. Both get the point across.

Will the print fade after washing?

It's a DTG (direct-to-garment) print on heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label, cold wash, tumble dry low, and it holds up.

Is this just another generic introvert shirt?

No. Most introvert shirts stop at "leave me alone." This one names the one thing that gets you to open the door. That specificity is what makes it actually funny.