It Ain't Gonna Lick Itself Tee

The It Ain't Gonna Lick Itself Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton funny shirt that turns a filthy suggestion into a household chore. Available in black or white, unisex sizes S through 4XL. It says what it says.

Who actually wears this?

People with no filter and a full calendar of questionable events.

This is the shirt for Mardi Gras, bachelor and bachelorette parties, bar crawls, and any festival where the dress code is "regrettable." It's what you throw on when you've already committed to being the problem. Bad judgment comes in every size, and we've got you covered from S to 4XL.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin
• Unisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL
• Crew neck (no weird collar energy)
• DTG printed so the text stays crisp long after your reputation doesn't
• Comes in black or white, because you deserve options even when you've clearly stopped making good choices

Is this a good gift?

It's a perfect gift for someone you know well enough to insult.

Birthdays, White Elephant, gag gifts for the bridal party, that one friend who never gets embarrassed. If they laugh, you nailed it. If they don't, that's useful information too.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the It Ain't Gonna Lick Itself Tee true to size?

It runs true to size in a relaxed unisex fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people are happy with their usual pick.

What colors does this shirt come in?

Black or white. Two options, both solid.

Will this shirt shrink in the wash?

It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and it stays the size you ordered.

Is this appropriate for work?

That depends entirely on where you work. If your boss has a sense of humor, maybe. If HR already knows your name, probably not.

Can I wear this to a family event?

You can wear it anywhere you're willing to deal with the consequences. Family reunions are between you and your relatives.