It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine Tee

The It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine Tee from Unethical Threads is a fresh reprint of a genuine vintage novelty classic that's been on shirts since at least 1992. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit S-4XL, available in black or white. Not a yellowed thrift-store relic that smells like someone else's decade.

Is this the vintage '90s bald spot shirt?

Same legendary joke, completely new shirt. The "bald spot is a solar panel for a sex machine" line has been floating around since the late '80s, and original prints on old Jerzees and Fruit of the Loom blanks are all over resale sites.

Those are cool in a time-capsule kind of way, but most are faded, cracked, and cut for a body shape that peaked in 1993. We put the joke on modern heavyweight cotton with a clean DTG print and sizing that goes up to 4XL. Same energy, fabric that wasn't manufactured during the first Bush administration.

• Heavyweight cotton that can handle your laundry habits, whatever those are
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because this joke doesn't need a V-neck trying to class it up
• DTG printed for color that actually lasts (no cracking, no fading, no ghosting)
• Available in black or white

Is this a good gift for a bald guy?

It's practically made for that. This is a self-roast, not a roast. The guy wearing it is the one making the joke, and the joke is pure confidence.

If the man in your life has ever rubbed his head and called himself "aerodynamic," this is his shirt. Works for Father's Day, birthdays, or any random Tuesday. Also works if you're buying it for yourself, you magnificent solar-powered machine.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?
Unisex S through 4XL. Relaxed fit, runs true to size.

Is this a real vintage shirt?
No. This is a brand new print of a vintage novelty design that's been around since the early '90s. Fresh cotton, clean print, no previous owners.

Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printed for lasting color that won't bail on you after a few washes.

What colors is this available in?
Black or white.

Is this shirt offensive?
It's a self-deprecating dad joke about being bald. If that offends someone, they were already committed to being offended before they got here.