Land Of The Free Home Of The 9-5 Tee

The Land Of The Free Home Of The 9-5 Tee from Unethical Threads is a full-color patriotic graphic tee with a fine-print reality check. Stars, stripes, and bold block letters up top selling you the dream. The punchline sits in small type underneath, right where your employer keeps your vacation days.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's ever described their weekend as "too short." If you set an alarm five days a week and resent every single one of them, this is your shirt.

Office workers, remote workers "on mute," teachers counting the days to summer break, freelancers who somehow still work 9-to-5 anyway. Available in black or white, because your wardrobe shouldn't require more decisions than your morning already does.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because V-necks are a whole personality we're not getting into
• DTG printed, so the colors stay put instead of quietly leaving like your motivation on a Wednesday
• Available in black or white

Does this work as a gift?

Absolutely. This might be the easiest gift you buy all year.

It's for the coworker whose entire personality is complaining about Mondays, the friend who texts you "I quit" memes at 2 PM, or anyone who has ever used the phrase "living for the weekend" unironically. No inside joke required. Just hand it over and watch the nod.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable without being a tent.

What colors is the Land Of The Free Home Of The 9-5 Tee available in?

Black or white. Pick your fighter.

Will the print crack or peel?

No. It's DTG printed, so the ink is in the fabric, not sitting on top of it waiting to flake off.

Is this appropriate for the office?

That depends on your office and your relationship with HR. We'd call it a casual Friday lock at minimum.