Lap Dances $5 Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Lap Dances $5 tee from Unethical Threads is a back print that advertises your services at an aggressively undercut rate. No business license, no shame, no further questions. Pick it up in black or white and let the back of your shirt handle negotiations.

Who's Actually Wearing This?

Bachelor parties, mostly. Also people who enjoy watching strangers read their back, do the math, and then look them dead in the eye with genuine confusion.

This shirt lives in that sweet spot between "I'm joking" and "but am I though," and it commits fully to the bit. Pair it with cargo shorts and total confidence for maximum impact.

• Heavyweight cotton that holds its shape (and your dignity, somehow)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck
• DTG print for color that actually sticks around
• Design printed on the back, because the reveal is the whole point

Is This a Good Gift?

It's a perfect gift if you want to be remembered forever.

Bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges, that friend who peaked in 2009 and owns it completely. Just know that gifting this shirt means you're personally responsible for every look they get at the grocery store. Consider yourself warned.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the design on the front or back of the shirt?

The design is printed on the back. The front is blank, so people won't know what's coming until you walk past them.

What sizes does the Lap Dances $5 tee come in?

Sizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. It works for everyone.

Will this shirt shrink?

It's heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it holds up fine.

Can I wear this to a family event?

You can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is a different question entirely.

What colors does this come in?

Black or white. Both equally shameless.