Life's A Bitch Then You Marry One Tee

The Life's A Bitch Then You Marry One tee from Unethical Threads says what every married person has thought at least twice before lunch. Heavyweight cotton, available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL. The shirt your spouse will pretend to hate.

Who actually wears this?

People who said "I do" and immediately started questioning their judgment. This is the official uniform of husbands who load the dishwasher wrong on purpose, wives who've memorized every divorce lawyer billboard on the highway, and bachelor party crews who want to set realistic expectations.

If you've ever described your marriage as "a life sentence with occasional conjugal visits," this one's already yours in spirit.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't fall apart faster than your last relationship
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S to 4XL
• Crew neck because V-necks are for people who still try
• DTG printed so the joke outlasts your patience
• Available in black or white (unlike your marriage, you get a choice here)

Is this a good gift for a married friend?

It's the best gift for a married friend. Better than a sympathy card, cheaper than couples therapy.

Works for anniversaries, divorce parties, Father's Day, or just a random Tuesday when your buddy texts you "she's making me go to her mom's again." Pair it with a six-pack and you've got a care package that actually means something.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Plenty of room for comfort and regret.

Will the print fade or crack?

DTG printing keeps the design sharp wash after wash. Follow the care label and you're good.

Is this shirt going to offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's kind of the whole point of wearing it.

What's the shirt made of?

Heavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough to sleep on the couch in.

Can I wear this to a wedding?

You can. Should you? Depends on how much you like the couple. We take no responsibility for uninvitations.