Maybe The Alcohol Is Addicted To Me Tee

The Maybe The Alcohol Is Addicted To Me Tee from Unethical Threads is a funny drinking shirt for anyone who's decided the alcohol is the one with the attachment issues. Available in black or white heavyweight cotton, it's the kind of excuse that works better on a tee than in a courtroom.

Who actually wears this?

People who handle criticism with deflection and a cold one. The kind of person who hears "you drink too much" and genuinely considers whether the beer is just clingy.

This shirt lands at barbecues, brewery tours, bachelor parties, and anywhere someone's about to offer you unsolicited wellness advice. It's also the perfect uniform for anyone who's ever been told they have a problem and responded with a counterargument nobody asked for.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not like a dryer sheet with a collar
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck, because you're deflecting responsibility, not reinventing fashion
• DTG printed so the colors last longer than your justifications
• Available in black or white

Does this work as a gift?

Absolutely. If someone in your life has ever blamed the wine for opening itself, this is their shirt.

It works for birthdays, White Elephant, "just because," or that specific moment when your friend needs to know you see them. Really see them. The Maybe The Alcohol Is Addicted To Me Tee says what an intervention can't: that you're all in on the bit.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does this shirt come in?

S through 4XL. The fit is unisex and relaxed, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.

What colors is this shirt available in?

Black or white. Pick whichever matches your level of denial.

Will this shirt shrink in the wash?

It's heavyweight cotton, so follow the care instructions and you'll be fine. Cold wash, tumble dry low. Don't overthink it.

Is the print going to crack or fade?

It's DTG printed, which means the ink bonds with the fabric instead of sitting on top of it. Treat it right and the print stays sharp.

Can I wear this to work?

Depends on your job and how much your HR department likes you. We'd say "use your judgment," but the fact that you're here suggests that ship has sailed.