Moister Than An Oyster Tee

The Moister Than An Oyster tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like, and somehow worse when you say it out loud. This is the shirt you wear when you've given up on making a good first impression. Inappropriate humor, heavyweight cotton, not a single apology in sight.

Who actually wears this?

People who peaked in humor, not maturity. The Moister Than An Oyster shirt is for the person at the cookout who makes everyone laugh and then doesn't get invited to the next one. If you've ever been told "you can't wear that," this is probably your size.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a race you didn't finish
• Unisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL. Bad taste comes in every size.
• Crew neck, because you're not that fancy
• DTG print for color that doesn't bail after a few washes
• Pre-shrunk. It'll fit the same whether you bought it sober or not.

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a great gift for someone you actually know. Terrible gift for a coworker, your pastor, or anyone you met less than six months ago. Perfect for the friend who sends the worst memes in the group chat. If they laugh at "Moister Than An Oyster" out loud, buy it. You already know who this is for.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the Moister Than An Oyster shirt as inappropriate as it sounds?

Yes. Possibly more so depending on who's reading it. We don't do subtle here.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

Nope. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Just don't iron directly on the graphic.

Can I wear this to work?

That depends entirely on where you work and how much you value your job.

Is this a good gag gift?

One of the best. Just make sure the recipient has a sense of humor, or you'll learn something about them real fast.