Moister Than An Oyster Tee

The Moister Than An Oyster tee from Unethical Threads is exactly as inappropriate as it sounds. A text-only print that rhymes its way into your wardrobe (and other people's discomfort). Heavyweight cotton, black or white, S through 4XL.

Who actually wears this?

Anyone who's ever said something filthy out loud and felt no shame about it.

This reads as a women's humor tee, but it's cut unisex because innuendo doesn't care about your gender. Your friend who makes the entire brunch table go silent? This is her shirt. Your buddy who drops lines at cookouts that make dads choke on their beer? Also his shirt. It works on everyone who's ever leaned into a terrible rhyme and refused to apologize.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't disintegrate after three washes (unlike your dignity at karaoke)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL. Fits everyone from "I skipped lunch" to "I had two lunches"
• Crew neck. Classic. Nothing fancy, because the words on your chest are doing all the work
• DTG printed. The text stays crisp and vivid, not cracking and peeling like a bad bumper sticker
• Black or white. Pick whichever matches your soul

Is this a good gift?

If you know someone well enough to buy them this shirt, you already know the answer.

This is the tee you grab for a bachelorette party, a birthday for your most unfiltered friend, or just yourself on a random Tuesday. It arrives looking exactly like the listing, no surprises. The only reaction you need to worry about is from the person standing behind them in the checkout line at Target.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Moister Than An Oyster tee come in?

S through 4XL. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.

What colors is this shirt available in?

Black or white. Two choices, both correct.

Will the print crack or fade?

It's DTG printed, meaning the ink is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. It holds up.

Can I wear this to work?

That depends entirely on where you work and how attached you are to your job.

Is this actually a women's shirt?

It's unisex. The humor skews femme but the fit doesn't. Wear what's funny.