Mouths Cant Get Pregnant Tee

The Mouths Can't Get Pregnant Tee from Unethical Threads is a public service announcement nobody requested. A factually correct biological statement, printed on heavyweight cotton, delivered with a completely straight face. You're doing the lord's work.

Who actually wears this?

People whose friends have stopped being surprised.

The Mouths Can't Get Pregnant Tee lands at bachelor and bachelorette parties, bar crawls, and anywhere the dress code leans "regrettable." Arched text over red lips biting down, paired with a statement that is, if nothing else, technically correct. If you've ever received a text that just says "why are you like this," this shirt was made for you.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a shirt, not a suggestion of one
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL
• Crew neck. Not reinventing anything here. It's a crew neck.
• DTG print, so the design stays vivid through every wash. This joke doesn't fade.

Is this actually a good gift?

It's a great gift.

The Mouths Can't Get Pregnant Tee says "I thought of you and it was inappropriate" without requiring a card. Works for bachelorette parties, white elephant exchanges, and birthdays for people who are impossible to shop for.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Mouths Can't Get Pregnant Tee come in?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Works for everyone who wants to commit to this particular life choice.

Will the print fade or crack?

No. DTG (direct-to-garment) printing locks the design into the fabric, so the colors hold up no matter how many times you wash it. Your commitment to this joke is permanent.

Is this shirt offensive?

It's a biological fact. Whether people find biological facts offensive is between them and their high school health teacher.

What's the shirt made of?

Heavyweight cotton with a crew neck. It's a real shirt, not a novelty costume. You could wear it to brunch if your friends can handle it.

Can I wear this in public?

You can. Whether you should is a question for your own conscience. We made the shirt, not your decisions.