My Birthstone Is A Crack Rock Tee (BACKPRINT)

The My Birthstone Is A Crack Rock tee from Unethical Threads is self-deprecation taken to its logical endpoint. Printed on the back so you can make an exit that lingers. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, available in black or white.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who already make this joke about themselves, out loud, in public. This is not aspirational humor. It's confessional.

The backprint format means you get to walk away from people while they process what they just read. That's the whole experience. You don't owe them a reaction, and they can't unsee it.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't fall apart on you (unlike some other things in your life)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S to 4XL
• Crew neck, because some decisions should be simple
• DTG printed for color that sticks around longer than your good decisions
• Design is on the back of the shirt, front is blank

Is this a good gift?

Only if the person already owns the joke. If your friend has literally said "my birthstone is a crack rock" at a party, this is the gift. If they haven't, maybe start with a candle.

Works for birthdays, white elephant, or any occasion where enabling someone's worst personality trait feels appropriate. Do not give this to anyone who requires an explanation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the design on the front or the back of the shirt?

The design is printed on the back. The front is blank, so people have to earn the punchline by walking behind you.

What sizes does the My Birthstone Is A Crack Rock tee come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable no matter your build.

What colors is this shirt available in?

Black or white. Pick whichever one matches your current trajectory.

Will the print survive washing?

Yes. The DTG print holds its color through regular washing. Turn it inside out, cold water, tumble low.

Is this shirt offensive?

The joke is about you, not someone else. Self-deprecating humor is the safest kind of inappropriate. Context matters, and you already know which rooms this plays in.