My Bush Grows Thicker Than Your Beard So Lower Your Tone Tee

The My Bush Grows Thicker Than Your Beard So Lower Your Tone tee is Unethical Threads at peak feminist trash-talk. It's the comeback you've been rehearsing in the shower, finally on a shirt. Available in black or white.

Who's actually wearing this?

Anyone who's tired of men with patchy beards acting like they run things. This shirt is for the person who doesn't flinch, doesn't explain themselves, and definitely doesn't lower their tone.

It hits hardest at brunch, at the bar, or anywhere a guy with a wispy goatee has opinions about your grooming. Pair it with whatever you want. You don't need our help.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a paper towel
• Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck because V-necks weren't invited
• DTG printed so the design stays crisp and doesn't crack or peel
• Comes in black or white, pick your energy

Will this offend someone?

Almost certainly. That's the whole point.

If someone reads "My Bush Grows Thicker Than Your Beard So Lower Your Tone" across your chest and gets flustered, congratulations. This is a shirt for people who think body autonomy and a sharp sense of humor go together perfectly. If they can't handle the joke, they definitely can't handle you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?
It's a unisex relaxed fit. Your normal size works, but go up one if you want it oversized.

What's the print quality like?
DTG (direct-to-garment) printed, meaning the design is in the fabric, not sitting on top. No cracking, no peeling.

Can I wear this to work?
Depends entirely on your workplace. If HR has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.

Is this a good gift for someone?
If you know they'd laugh, yes. If you have to wonder whether they'd be offended, get them a candle.