My Girlfriend Will Decapitate You If You Don't Stop Looking At Me Tee

The My Girlfriend Will Decapitate You If You Don't Stop Looking At Me Tee from Unethical Threads is a jealous-girlfriend joke in heavyweight cotton form. It says exactly what you think it says, right across the front, in all caps. You're not sorry and neither is she.

Who Actually Wears This?

Couples where one person has a sense of humor and the other has a death stare. That's the whole demographic.

Guys who think it's hilarious, girlfriends who bought it for them, or people who are single and wearing it just to watch someone try to figure out the situation. You're the type who picks the shirt that makes your friends choke on their drink.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after three washes (your girlfriend wouldn't allow it)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck
• DTG print so the threat stays crisp and readable wash after wash
• Text-only design. No clip art. No distractions. Just the warning.

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

Honestly? One of the best.

If your partner has the kind of humor where they'd actually wear this in public and own every sideways look that comes with it, this is the move. Anniversary, birthday, Valentine's Day, random Tuesday because you caught them eyeing someone at the grocery store. It hits different when the person wearing it didn't buy it for themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the shirt actually say the full phrase?

Yes. "MY GIRLFRIEND WILL DECAPITATE YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP LOOKING AT ME" in full, right across the front. No abbreviations, no subtlety.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

It's DTG printed, which means the ink is in the fabric, not sitting on top of it. It holds up through the wash cycle without cracking or peeling.

Is this shirt for men or women?

It's unisex. Anyone can wear it. The joke works regardless of who's doing the threatening by proxy.

Can I wear this to family events?

You can wear it anywhere. Whether you should is between you and your survival instincts.