Never Fake An Orgasm Tee

The Never Fake An Orgasm Tee from Unethical Threads is a dark-humor graphic tee with one rule: stop being polite about bad performance. Heavyweight cotton, a no-symbol graphic, and the kind of honesty most people are too scared to wear. If your friends don't try to steal it, get funnier friends.

Who actually wears this?

People who'd rather be honest than polite. The Never Fake An Orgasm Tee is for anyone who thinks sugarcoating is a waste of everyone's time.

You'll spot it at bachelorette parties, dive bars, and anywhere people appreciate a punchline that hits below the belt. Literally. It's the shirt that quietly becomes someone's favorite in the rotation, because honesty (even the uncomfortable kind) never goes out of style.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels substantial, not tissue-paper thin
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck, because you don't need a deep V to be provocative
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print for colors that stay vivid long after the joke lands
• Machine washable. Your love life might be high-maintenance but your wardrobe doesn't have to be.

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift. Possibly too great.

The Never Fake An Orgasm Tee is the kind of present that makes someone laugh so hard they forget to say thank you. Perfect for birthdays, White Elephant, divorce parties, or just because you want to watch someone open a package in front of their parents. It's a gag gift with actual substance, which is more than most people can say about their relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Never Fake An Orgasm Tee come in?
It runs S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will this shirt shrink in the wash?
It's heavyweight cotton, so expect minimal shrinkage with cold wash and tumble dry low.

Is the print going to crack or peel?
No. The DTG print is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top of it. It holds up.

Can I wear this to work?
That depends entirely on your HR department and how much you like your job.

Is this a good gift for someone I barely know?
Only if you want to know them a lot better, or not at all. There's no middle ground with this shirt.