Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar Tee (BACKPRINT)

The Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar tee is an Unethical Threads backprint that reads exactly like your best bar story. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so you deliver the punchline on your way out. Available in black or white.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who think the intersection of outdoorsman energy and weekend decisions is peak comedy.

Your buddy who always has a story that starts with "so I was out last weekend" and ends with the whole table in tears. The guy at the bar who earned the right to wear this and isn't shy about it. If you have to ask whether this shirt is for you, it isn't. But if you laughed before you even clicked, welcome home.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't disintegrate after a few washes
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because questionable taste comes in all sizes
• Crew neck, classic cut, nothing complicated
• DTG print for color that actually sticks around
• Backprint design, so the joke lands on your exit (the front stays clean for polite company)

Is this a good gift?

If you already know someone who'd wear this, absolutely. If you're second-guessing it, that's your answer.

This is not a safe gift. It's not the shirt you grab for Secret Santa unless your office is significantly more fun than most. It's the one you hand to your best friend at their birthday while everyone else watches them unwrap it. The Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar tee is a commitment, not a casual purchase. Make sure the recipient has the energy to match it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the design on the front or the back?
The back. This is a backprint tee, so the design sits between the shoulders. The front is blank.

What sizes does this shirt come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade after washing?
The DTG printing holds up well through regular washing. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it handles normal wear just fine.

Does this come in different colors?
Black or white. Pick your fighter.

Is this shirt actually about mountain lions?
No. And you already knew that.