Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar Tee

The Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar tee is Unethical Threads at peak double entendre. Part outdoorsman flex, part confession you probably shouldn't make at Thanksgiving. Available in black or white, because your bad decisions should come in options.

Who Actually Wears This?

People with a specific sense of humor and zero interest in explaining it. Hunters who appreciate a well-placed double meaning.

The guy at every barbecue who says something that makes half the group choke on their beer while the other half pretends they didn't hear. If you've ever told a story that ended with your buddy saying "you can't say that," this shirt was made for you.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a see-through napkin from a clearance rack.
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Nobody's getting left out.
• Crew neck. Classic. No one needs a deep V for this particular confession.
• DTG printed so the text stays crisp and doesn't bail on you after a few washes. The joke deserves longevity even if the relationship didn't.
• Available in black or white. Pick your fighter.

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

It's a perfect gift for the right person and a terrible gift for the wrong one.

You know who in your life would wear this proudly and who would report you to HR for even suggesting it. For the friend who overshares at every cookout, the uncle who thinks he's still got it, or the coworker who somehow never gets fired, this lands every time.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this run true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people find their usual size works.

What sizes do you carry?

S through 4XL. We don't gatekeep humor by waistline.

Will the print hold up?

It's DTG printed directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no fading into an unreadable blur after a few washes.

Can I wear this in public?

Legally? Yes. Socially? That depends on the public. Dive bar, tailgate, fishing trip? You're golden. Church potluck? Read the room.