*NEW* Heat Is Stroking People Tee

The Heat Is Stroking People tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who heard the forecast and immediately went outside to get some. Heavyweight cotton, inappropriate summer energy, and the kind of joke your group chat sends at 2 AM.

Who's actually wearing this?

People who check the weather app and see an opportunity. If your sense of humor runs hot (pun fully intended), this is your summer uniform.

It's the shirt you throw on when it's 100 degrees and you've decided to make the heat everyone else's problem too. You're not hiding from the sun. You're flirting with it.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after one wash cycle
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because summer doesn't discriminate by body type
• Crew neck, because V-necks are a whole different kind of risky in this heat
• DTG printed for color that actually survives your sweatiest season
• Machine washable, which you're going to need

Is this a good gift?

If someone in your life complains about the heat while also refusing to stay inside, yes. This is their shirt.

It's the kind of gift that says "I know exactly who you are and I'm not sorry about it." Works for birthdays, Father's Day, or just because you saw it and thought of someone specific.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Heat Is Stroking People tee come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.

Is this shirt offensive?

That depends entirely on how your brain processes the word "stroking." We're just talking about the weather.

What's the shirt made of?

Heavyweight cotton with DTG printing. The colors hold up through washes and the fabric doesn't feel like a tissue.

How long does shipping take?

Most orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. We'll send you tracking info so you can refresh it obsessively.

Can I wear this to work?

Technically yes. Whether you keep your job is between you and HR.