*NEW* I Just Got For A Diet Coke Tee

The I Just Got Circumcised For A Diet Coke tee from Unethical Threads is a commitment to a bit most people would've abandoned halfway through the sentence. Wear it to brunch, wear it to the gas station, wear it anywhere you want to watch someone read your chest three times to make sure they got it right.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who peaked in humor around age 14 and never came down. If your group chat has a "too far" line, this shirt lives on the other side of it. It's for the friend who says the thing everyone was thinking but absolutely should not say out loud, except now it's printed on heavyweight cotton.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't finish.
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room for everybody, including the guy who drinks six Diet Cokes a day.
• Classic crew neck. Nothing fancy, nothing weird.
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print so the colors stay vivid no matter how many times you wash it. Your regret may fade. The print won't.
• Machine washable. Because we both know you're not hand-washing this.

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

It might be the best gift. Birthdays, White Elephant, Secret Santa where you want to get yourself permanently removed from the list. This is the shirt you give someone when a gift card feels too lazy and a heartfelt letter feels too real. Pair it with an actual Diet Coke for maximum commitment to the bit.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the shirt actually say the full phrase on it?

Yes. Every word. No abbreviations, no asterisks, no subtlety. What you see is what you get.

What sizes are available?

Unisex sizes S through 4XL. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.

Will the print crack or fade?

It's DTG printed, so the ink is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. Wash cold and tumble dry low, and it'll stay looking fresh.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

That depends entirely on your definition of "public" and your tolerance for strangers reading your shirt out loud. We believe in you, but we're also not your lawyer.