*NEW* I Would Crawl Through Razors & Glass Pepsi Max Tee

The I Would Crawl Through Razors & Glass Pepsi Max tee is for people who treat their soda preference like a blood oath. Made by Unethical Threads for the subset of the population whose Pepsi Max loyalty has genuinely concerned their friends and family.

Who Actually Buys This?

People who have, at some point, physically defended their Pepsi Max preference in a group setting.

The kind of person who takes the Coke vs. Pepsi debate personally, then drills down even further to the diet option nobody asked about. If you've ever said "no, I don't want a Coke, I'll just have water" purely out of spite, this is your uniform.

• Heavyweight 6.1 oz cotton that can survive the crawl (thick, substantial, not some tissue-paper tee)
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because devotion comes in all sizes
• Crew neck, because you're unhinged, not a V-neck person
• DTG printed so the colors hold up after a hundred washes (your commitment doesn't fade, neither should the print)
• Pre-shrunk, fits the same on day one and day three hundred

Is This a Good Gift for a Pepsi Max Person?

It's the only gift.

Every Pepsi Max loyalist has been waiting for someone to acknowledge the depth of their commitment. This does that. Birthday, holiday, random Tuesday where you want to make someone feel truly seen in their unhinged soda devotion. This is the move.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. Unisex relaxed fit, true to size from S to 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?

No. DTG (direct-to-garment) printing means the design is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. It holds up wash after wash.

Is this actually about Pepsi Max or is it a reference to something?

It's exactly what it looks like. Pure, uncut Pepsi Max devotion expressed through the medium of graphic tees.

Is this offensive?

Only to Coca-Cola shareholders. Everyone else will either laugh or ask where you got it.