*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child Xmas Red Bull Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child Xmas Red Bull Tee is peak Unethical Threads. It says what everyone's thinking during the holidays when their caffeine levels hit zero and their patience follows. Heavyweight cotton, sizes S through 4XL, and guaranteed to make at least one family member stop talking to you.

Who Actually Wears This?

People who run on Red Bull and zero impulse control. If you've ever been the person at the holiday party saying something that makes Grandma clutch her pearls, this is your uniform. It's from the Dropkick series, which is basically the unhinged corner of an already unhinged brand. You'll fit right in.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a free promo tee
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck, because we're chaotic, not experimental
• DTG-printed so the colors stay loud through every wash
• Machine washable (you're going to need that after the holiday party)

Is This Actually a Good Gift?

It's the best gift for someone you actually know. Don't give this to your coworker you've spoken to twice. Give it to the friend who sends you memes at 2 AM, your sibling who peaked in high school, or anyone who would genuinely choose a Red Bull over civil behavior. They'll love it. Everyone else will have opinions. That's kind of the point.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes does the Dropkick A Child Red Bull tee come in?
S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so size the way you normally would.

Will this shirt shrink?
It's heavyweight pre-shrunk cotton. Wash it however you want, it holds up.

Is this shirt appropriate for work?
That depends entirely on where you work. If your boss laughs at memes, go for it. If you're in HR, maybe save it for the weekend.

How long does shipping take?
Most orders ship within 3-5 business days. You'll get a tracking email once it's on the way.

Does the print fade or crack?
No. DTG printing bonds the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top. Colors hold up no matter how many times you wash it.