*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Busch Apple Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Busch Apple tee from Unethical Threads is for people who've picked a side in the beer debate and are weirdly aggressive about it. If Busch Apple is your entire personality, this shirt makes it official. You already know if this is for you.

Who actually wears this?

People who crack a Busch Apple at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday and don't feel the need to explain themselves.

This shirt pairs well with cargo shorts, a total lack of shame, and strong opinions about light beer. It's also for anyone who saw the title and immediately sent it to three people. That impulse? Trust it.

• Heavyweight cotton that doesn't go see-through after one wash (you're welcome)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because you're not an animal
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors stay loud even when you shouldn't
• Pre-shrunk, so it still fits after laundry day... whenever that is

Is this actually a good gift?

It might be the best gift you can give someone who loves Busch Apple and has a sense of humor their HR department would flag.

Birthday, Christmas, "sorry I said that at Thanksgiving," whatever the occasion. If you're second-guessing whether the person can handle it, they probably can't. That's on them, not you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this shirt actually about dropkicking children?
No. It's about how good Busch Apple is. The dropkicking is hypothetical. Please don't dropkick anyone.

What sizes does this come in?
S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will the print fade or crack?
It's DTG printed, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no matter how many times you wash it.

Can I wear this in public?
Legally, yes. Whether your mom will still speak to you is a separate question.

Is the material comfortable?
Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Soft enough to sleep in, sturdy enough to survive a tailgate.