*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cheesy Garlic Bread

This is the "I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cheesy Garlic Bread" tee from Unethical Threads. It says what we're all thinking: garlic bread is worth felony-level commitment. Printed on heavyweight cotton so it survives as long as your questionable priorities do.

Who actually wears this?

People who have strong feelings about carbs and weak feelings about other people's children. If you've ever whispered "I would literally commit a crime for this bread" at an Olive Garden, you're the target demographic.

Your friends already know this about you. Now strangers will too. This shirt just makes it official.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like it means business, not like a see-through napkin from a gas station
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL (garlic bread doesn't discriminate and neither do we)
• Classic crew neck because you're unhinged, not experimental
• DTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't
• Pre-shrunk, because at least something in your life should be predictable

Is this a good gift?

It's the best gift. Nothing says "I know exactly who you are as a person" like handing someone a shirt about dropkicking children for garlic bread.

Perfect for birthdays, white elephants, or just reminding your friend group why you're the funny one. If they don't laugh, you need new friends.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt run true to size?

Yes. Unisex relaxed fit in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will this offend people?

Almost certainly. That's sort of the whole point.

Is the print going to crack or fade?

No. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash.

Can I wear this in public?

You can wear it anywhere you're comfortable being perceived. So yes, probably Target on a Saturday.

Is the garlic bread actually worth it?

Always.