*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Corona Tee

The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Corona tee is Unethical Threads at peak volume. It says what everyone's thinking after beer number four, except you're wearing it sober at noon. Requested by popular demand, limited stock.

Who actually wears this?

People who love Corona and hate small talk.

The kind of person who walks into a cookout and gets handed a beer before they get handed a plate. You already know if this is your shirt. If you're hesitating, it probably isn't.

• Heavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after three washes (or three fights)
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Classic crew neck, because you're unhinged, not sloppy
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors stay loud even when you shouldn't
• Machine washable, which is good because this shirt is going places

Is this a good gift?

It's the best gift.

Anyone can buy someone a gift card. This takes knowledge. You have to know the person well enough to know they'll laugh and not call HR. If you have that friend, you already know who they are.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Corona shirt true to size?

Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit. If you're between sizes, go with your usual. Sizes run S through 4XL.

Will this shirt shrink?

Minimal shrinkage if you follow care instructions. Wash cold, tumble dry low. The heavyweight cotton holds up.

How long does shipping take?

Most orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. You'll get a tracking number once it's on the way.

Can I return it if it doesn't fit?

Check our return policy page for the full details. We want you happy, just not in a way that involves us reading your complaint emails.

Will the print crack or peel?

No. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers, so it won't crack, peel, or fade like cheap screen print transfers.